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Library Journal Review

Ostensibly, this book is about the impact of keeping or telling secrets on ourselves and others. However, most of the material concerns the problems facing gays and lesbians who want to ``come out.'' Using her experience as a lesbian minister, Cherry (author of Womans word , Kodansha, dist. by Farrar, 1987) writes sincerely and gently about homosexual isues. She includes exercises designed to foster self-discovery. Aside from these exercises however, her book's potential usefulness is weakened by her philosophical rather than practical approach. Also, most of the information is not new. Readers would do better with Mary Borhek's Coming Out to Parents ( LJ 8/83) or Testimonies: A Collection of Lesbian Coming Out Stories (Alyson Pubns., 1988). For large collections of alternative literature.-- January Adams, Somerville P.L., N.J. (c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

Booklist Review

Secrets have become akin to the yin and yang of American society. On one hand, gossip is condoned, even welcomed on certain levels. On the other, women are taught to hide anger and ambition, while men are expected to shield tenderness and emotions. Minister and author (Womansword) Cherry explores the push-pull tugs of disclosure and covering up in a therapeutic manner intended to show when and how to "hide or speak." According to the author, the keys to revelation are, first, self-discovery and, then, self-acceptance, whether the secret involves a minor childhood indiscretion or the reason behind fear of intimacy. Stages along the way owe their creation to the likes of Kubler-Ross (On Death and Dying), Goffman (Secrets), and Fisher and Ury (Getting to Yes), among others. This contribution demonstrates, however, a kinder and gentler understanding and the importance of following compassionate procedures. ~--Barbara Jacobs